Titanic

New saying! - "he tried even less than DiCaprio in Titanic!" Lets face it, how crap was that film. He had plenty of room on that piece of floating timber, he tries once to hitch himself onto it and it's "let's just...erp...no, no it's not going to happen - too slippery, yeh, it's ok, I'll just stay here and, die - it'll be right" In fact if she'd have just jumped off the boat at the start of the film like she was going to, we'd have all saved 3 hours.... bitch.
My girlfriend asked me for the dvd for Christmas, she says "can I have the new Dulux Edition?" "Dulux?!" says I, "Do you get a free tin of Ice White paint with it?! I think you mean deluxe". Anyway, I got her the DVD, on the special features it said "Alternate Ending" how do you get an alternate ending to Titanic?! It sinks! It's a true story! "Iceberg dead ahead!....S'alright, missed it!"