Bored...

God I'm bored! It's amazing what you do when you're bored isn't it? Somehow I always seem to find myself on the internet, for some reason my mind thinks of things like; what happened to the cast of California Dreams? - Who cares?! - I wonder if they have a Pontiac Trans am on Ebay...- Why?! - Today I actually found myself on the Halfords website looking at Caravan accessories - I don't have a caravan, I don't have a tow bar, I don't even have a tent and I'm not about to start and get one. Sorry guys but any weekend that results in me hiking for half a mile, carrying a large plastic tub of human excrement is off my agenda. I'd rather watch Cricket, and that's saying something, what a boring game that is. I can't believe we have a game where you actually stop in the middle to have tea, and it can take up to 5 days to finish and still be a draw!!
I was that bored today, I could've watched Jeremy Kyle. Who is this joker? And which Psychology school did he spend a weeks work experience at? I'll give him his due, he's the only one who tells them how it is; "Your problem, is your a fat chav who can't keep your legs closed!" I could never hear good old Kilroy saying that! And just how bloody good is this guys technology? It takes the Police 4 weeks to analyse a DNA sample - he has it after the break!
Get a hobby? I have one, I play the guitar. I was in a music shop only a week or so ago, and I hate it because there's always someone who knows more than you or can play better. I always get really self conscious trying one out because everyone can hear what you're playing, and the guy who owns the place scowling thinking "if I hear House of the Rising Sun or Stairway to Heaven one more time..." Then in comes the 12 year old kid who picks any guitar up and starts jamming on it like Clapton, from one of these weird families who don't have a TV or computers and just sit round singing songs and playing instruments and being happy all the time - just like that band on this years X factor, "Incest" - sorry, "Same Difference". I've called them that from the start, I think Incest is much catchier and really captures their image, my friends have even started calling them it now, it's really taking off!

Networking? No thanks...

I enjoy meeting people, let me re-phrase that, I enjoy meeting people that I think I'll get on with and can entertain. I hate being forced into social networking situations -you know what I mean, the works' team conferences where some liberal, tie-wearing jobsworth thinks it'd be a great idea to split you away from people you've actually managed to find something in common with, and stick you with a bunch of suits who love nothing more than to tell you every detail of their job, and expect you do the same with as much conviction and vigour. I don't want to talk to these people, I'm not interested in their job or what their dog's called and I can't be bothered to talk about mine. These are not people I would choose as friends so why waste my time, I have as much in common with them as Shaun Ryder does with the Pope.
Likewise, if I choose to lose touch with someone or not contact them, the chances are there's a good reason. Then I get a message on bloody facebook. What is this crap? Everybody raves about it, my girlfriend spends hours on it, doing what, I don't know - I set up a page and sat saying "right, what do I do now?" and that was it, until I got a message saying I been bitten and was now a werewolf - what?! Then I got another saying I had bitten and was a vampire - I was werewolf a minute ago! Then I got one saying my mate had sent me pint, "sweet! Where is it?" so I clicked it "You enjoyed that" - did I? I never saw the bloody thing - and the first time I got a message saying AP wants a slippery nipple I wondered what the hell I'd gotten into!
I got myspace too, what a load of jokers on there! It's full of folk pretending to be celebrities, there are about 15 George Lucas' - well 15 teenage boys pretending to be George Lucas. One of them almost convinced me till I saw the message from his mate saying "Maths was shit today eh?"